nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize