ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
