i would punch a child for taco bell
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
