Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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