it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
