whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize