I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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