Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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