All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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