It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
