do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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