This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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