nut hugger
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
