what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
