So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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