Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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