new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
