you guys were way drunker than both of me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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