theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
