haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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