You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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