Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
