I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
