Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
