Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
