Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
