just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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