I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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