I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
