If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
