make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
