have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
