Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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