Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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