when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
