I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
