i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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