That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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