it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
