How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
