you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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