i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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