i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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