is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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