I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
