He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize