This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
