hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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