Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
