remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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