the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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