That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize