Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
