Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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