I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize