entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
