bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
