When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
