The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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