it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
