we're blogging at a bar
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
