mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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