Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
