I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize