I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize