just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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