so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
