I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
