awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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