and you said cock pushups were impossible
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
