I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
